Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Things

SO MANY THINGS LATELY THERE IS NO TIME FOR ANYTHING BUT STUFF KEEPS HAPPENING.

Lovers, I am spiralling out of control. I am doing ridiculous crazy shit. Crazy shit that I would be judged harshly for. That would hurt people. That might hurt me. But I do them because the opportunity is there, and why not? I’m an experience junkie. I want all the things that make me happy all the time without pause. And also whatever else you’re offering.

It’s like I’m not even hungry, and someone says, ‘hey, want this flavourless rice cake?’ and I’m all, ‘yeah sure why not it’s there and therefore I must consume it’ I’m doing that in every aspect of my life.

Well, not with food so much, I’ve actually been a bit more healthy in that respect lately. Yay?

But everything else. Shit be wacky. I’ve sought guidance in a selection of friends. Three have been brilliant, one especially so (love you, Naridu. xo) one made everything entirely about her, since she’s basically a pile of raw nerves and everything has to affect her personally. Didn’t need that, but it’s the way it is.

A darling new friend and I have initiated a Secrets Club, since we’re having similar issues with The World being fucked and not appreciating that we want things a Very Specific Way. She’s exactly me if I was a 24-year-old-playwrite-slash-stripper. So, exactly me if I was younger and skinny. The World doesn’t understand us and it’s causing considerable pain and frustration. But we’re both such fucking firecrackers that we will make the important people see things our way, and the rest of The World can Get Fucked.

I hate that I have to talk in riddles, lovers. But clarification will come soon; things just need to be worked out. And that takes time, or so I’m reluctantly realising.

All will be well. Since it always is and always will be.

8 comments:

RandomGit said...

the rest of The World can Get Fucked

They should put that on your tombstone.

RandomGit said...

Not that I would you dead or anything.

RandomGit said...

Word Verification: Reapsin. It's what a Desci does....

emma said...

i wish i knew what you were talking about LOL

i shall wait...

claire said...

As the Italians would say, in the mouth of the wolf! Hope you're all right xo

Minxy said...

Not sure about supporting this initiative as the 'getting hurt' part doesn't sound like the fun kind of pain.

Pre-wedding rebellion, miss? I should know, having called one off.

Having cold feet is perfectly natural; as is the urge to slut it up a bit before the big day, just try not to break anything that can't be fixed. You've done enough agonising healing over the past year.

xx

Desci said...

RG: YES, of course, and YES OF COURSE, in that order.

Emma: Thank you for your patience, darling. xo

Claire: Argh! YES! I love that!

Minxy: Not to worry, absolutely, positively nothing like that. But thank you for the words. xo

naridu said...

Glad to be of help, time is the key in all things but then I am an extremely patient person who regularly plays the long game ;)
Limits, boundaries and trust. *hugs*

P.S. Mmmm, I hit a new level of subspace last night. Oh my god.